But lately, my dreams have been those of figurative mazes, of people I’ve known in the past (rarely the present), of moving from one world to another.

For fun, I asked someone who was providing a one-card animal draw online to draw a card for me. She drew whale, and wrote this: Your card is Whale. Whales have very long, mysterious migrations. You may have a journey ahead of you, but what type can’t be said yet. Whales are also symbols of deep wisdom – perhaps you should spend some time thinking deep and introspectively.

That seems almost exactly like the direction my dreams have been taking me. It’s as if I’m having a migration of sorts into different regions. I wake up most of the time feeling a strange emotion in my chest – a sort of longing which isn’t really longing; an alien feeling which might be that of innate knowledge I already know that I’m beginning to know again, maybe.

I’ll continue letting my dreams go where they will, and see where they bring me.

I’d clear forgotten how clean and grounding white sage smells like. It smells like the earth, and reminds of scent of soil, of digging my paws and fingers through the ground and smelling leaves and bark. It grounded me almost immediately, and made me calmer.

I then set down, and turned on the drumming track to a level where I could hear it, and yet still hear the rain in the background, creating a very pleasing harmony which made me able to take the steady breaths I needed.

It’s been almost a year. I think I’m extremely rusty. I sat down with the intention set out to clear any internal junk that was interfering with the smoothness of feeling my point of power and of reality creation, and also to meet all the ‘monsters’ I needed to meet inside to make peace with them.

I had in my mind ‘I am going to confront those monsters,’ as per the stereotypical words we always hear. But then, another clearer, wiser thought came in, ‘Not confronting, but making peace with.’

I knew I had to go in as myself this time. Not as Skyfiery, whose strength and power I sometimes draw from; maybe as Casey, as the simple me. But maybe not even that. Maybe I had to go in without a name, but simple as me.

I am quite notorious for falling asleep during journeys, and what made it worse was that I had a sudden image of the boundaries of protection I’d set in my room a long time ago suddenly flashing up, and I felt a sudden sense of all the powers or junk or unwanted energies in me springing from me and attempting to escape. The room felt stifling. I stupidly thought ‘I should air the room out’ and allowed the boundary to become porous. Some energy did escape (I hope those didn’t cause any harm) until that other, wiser voice insisted I strengthen my boundary again and ground the energies instead.

It was the grounding that cause me to fall asleep. Don’t ask me why. Grounding more often than not makes me fall asleep. When I’m off and about somewhere, I don’t fall asleep. Heh.

I woke up about ten minutes later feeling a little bit better, a little bit clearer inside. I need to trust myself to take care of me, even in my unconscious and subconscious, even in the spirit.

Went to smudge my room again, this time with the sage and cedar leaves. I love this combination because it’s very sweet, and brings a mixture of an earthy yet airy feel to them. Made sure to smudge my bed and especially pillow.

For Termite:
The runes picked were: fehu, laguz, hagalaz, ehwaz and thurisaz.

The runes indicate that currently, you or your mind is confused by many factors, many of them opposing. You have need to direct those conflicting factors and separate them into categories of sorts, putting a ranking of importance into them. Currently, you’re not consciously or actively directing your choices or your attention, resulting in your energy or attention being pulled all ways. Change that mindset to ease the process of decision-making.

For Jerry:
The runes picked were: eihwaz, sowilo, gebo, jera and othala.

There is one main message you need to know from yourself right now: which is to go back ‘home’, whatever the connotations of home mean to you. Perhaps you need to return or more firmly affirm your passions, or the spring from where your life-force and driving force wells up from. Eihwaz speaks of the need to empower yourself, and to direct your attention in one direction at this time. (Although I think you’re already doing that with your martial arts class; and try to forget about your ex.)

Odin, duplicitous god or deity as he is, hung upside-down from Yggdrasil for nine days before gaining the knowledge of the runes; he sacrificed one of his eye to Mimir to drink from the well to gain glimpses or sights from the future.

Much as I don’t trust Odin for his dual nature (he’d just as soon help you as stab you, even if he’s your patron deity), for the simple sake that I accept the knowledge and use of the runes for which he’d sacrificed himself for, I respect him for it. And I thank him for it. It is simple and basic courtesy. If I use something of anyone’s, I say thank you.

However, just because I say thank you doesn’t mean that I don’t give something in return. I realize that I lose some of my energy in the process of casting each rune for others, because I give away my energy for questions which aren’t mine. While I help others gain insight, it is not beneficial to me, on a pragmatic level.

What’s so ironic about all this is that I don’t believe there’s a deity. In fact, I don’t believe in god, nor whatever pantheon of gods there are. What I believe in is the multidimensionality of a presence which have intruded into our world, and which we perceive as a deity. That is how I perceive Odin: he’s just part of a multidimensional being, just like I am.

However, if legends say he sacrificed himself for knowledge, and I use that knowledge, then again, it is simply common courtesy to pay respect to him. NOT homage, NOT patronage.

Just respect.

So I think that for any readings now, I’ll ask the querent to offer up his/her own energy or thanks (at the very least) in exchange for insights gained.

My god. I feel so drained now. I better take a day or two off to recharge myself. Maybe those rice cakes left over (in which I gave some to the Infernal) would come in handy.

1. I did the readings like that – I smudged the runes and my hands with burning sage and cedar leaves between each reading so that energies or stuff don’t become intertwined;

2. Runes work like that – they do not give you direct answers. They cannot. What they do is to show you the factors working in your life now, pertaining to the questions asked, and then point you in a slightly more specific direction which you have to work towards. The runes show what factors are working with/against each other in your life, which might be negligible and which might not be.

“i tink I just wanna know how my 2010 will b like”

The nine runes picked were: tiwaz, sowilo, uruz, nauthiz, algiz, perdho, wunjo, thurisaz, mannaz.

Only three of the runes cast landed in the circles. All landed upright. They are nauthiz (need), algiz (elk, protection), and uruz (strength).

Algiz and uruz lay nearby each other, but not touching, suggesting that they lay in contradiction to each other. You’ll need to find strength and protection for yourself in the near future which is already coming in to your present. Also, uruz suggests untamed potential within you, which you need to have patience in order to bring to the forefront of your life to be able to use those potential.

hmmmm.. i think i wanna know.. wad career path i should take so that i can make sure i have leisure in business & business in leisure.

meaning i enjoy my work, even if it means being my own boss.

The runes picked for your question are: ansuz, wunjo, mannaz, gebo, jera, ehwaz, laguz, nauthiz and algiz.

Only four runes landed in the circle: jera, laguz, algiz and ansuz. Algiz landed face down.

For you, algiz and ansuz lay in contradiction, and algiz is face down. This shows that your inner self (higher consciousness etc.) has been attempting communication of messages to you, which you haven’t been receptive to. I can’t tell you what career path would be good for you according to your question, but your mind already has the answer.

In your present, you hold a lot of fluid creativity and imagination, as represented by laguz. You will have to ask yourself some hard questions (and get answers which you may not like, but which will be representative of the true situation or state of your mind) and pick the choices which come your way. One of those choices will come when one of your current (important) projects is coming to an end in your present or very near future.

Why is it that I can never seem to get my relationships to work?

The runes picked for your question are: mannaz, perdho, wunjo, fehu, gebo, nauthiz, ansuz, dagaz, and thurisaz.

Five runes landed in the circle: nauthiz, thurisaz, fehu, gebo and dagaz. Thurisaz and dagaz landed face down.

In your present, the face down thurisaz rune suggests that you have left yourself vulnerable unnecessarily, and wide open from ‘attacks’ from people or judgmental minds. You might need to toughen yourself up against others’ opinions and listen to your own if you believe that your opinion/s is true. Right now, you’re stuck in a rut with varying opinions or choices pressing in. However, there is the possibility that a gift (information, knowledge, clarity or perhaps even a physical gift) you give or receive in the near future will help bring a wealth of better relationships for you on many fronts.

However, there is a need to be patient and build up your fortress and strength. In this case, you need to take steps to understand what exactly it is which is causing the problem (because of leaving yourself vulnerable to varying opinions etc.). Without this patience and fortitude, you will still have problems with building stable relationships.

It forced me to learn how to balance myself a lot – needing to control the merest tilt of my wings as the circles became a lot smaller.

When I reached the top, it was just enough for my butt to sit on, so I did. Kite rested on my thigh. Kiesh’ra somehow managed to ‘hover’ behind me.

For the first time, K spoke directly to my mind. With words! I was so startled I whirled around and demanded of him, “Did you just speak to me?”

He said yes, and explained that for the past five years, he couldn’t speak with me clearly because my ‘ego’ and whatever else were cluttering my mind. It was only ‘here,’ that I’d risen above my ego.

And it was true. I sensed the seemingly-fragile network which linked all other possible worlds to me, to my present, to me NOW. Kite and Kiesh’ra, knowing what I have been trying to manifest, made me pull those worlds to myself and to eat them, to integrate them into my present.

I didn’t feel anything as I ate them, but after a few minutes, I felt the worlds suddenly ‘dissolve’ and integrate into me. It was warm and fuzzy.

I love Kiesh’ra. He came to me and protected an idiot kid who opened herself asking for protectors and guides and nearly got herself eaten by some giant spider thing (scary shit) about five, six years ago, and has stuck around ever since with little thanks. I sometimes forget to talk to him as I’m immersed in the clutter of physical life, but he is still around, protecting me and the ones I love from a lot of attacks.

Beer soon. And more smudging on the feather. Both he and kite loved it. =)

Then I finally remembered – about five, six years ago, I went to the beach near my place. The moment I went onto the jetty, something in the waters caught my eye. It was a raptor feather. In Singapore, it could have been nothing else, not with the color and the sheer length of it. No one else seemed to have seen it; or they didn’t care. I did. I waded into the water and got myself wet, picked it up, and have taken care of it the best way I could ever since.

However, I have never used it or worked with it. I don’t know why it took me so long to actually remember to work with it. But at least I’ve taken it out and smudged it thoroughly now. We’ll see where kite takes me.

—

While I was walking home from work today at about 8pm+, the winds started picking up. I looked up and the night sky was red with an impending storm. It’s nothing uncommon – it is still the wet monsoon season in Singapore, with almost daily storms and all.

However, this is only the second time in my entire life I’ve felt this sort of sheer unease from an impending storm. I call myself a Child of the Storm. The only times where I find that I feel cleansed raw and clean is if I head out into the midst of a thunderstorm and walk in it, getting drenched and shivering and hearing the thunder boom around me. Dangerous, yes. I’ve accepted it. Anyway.

The last time this happened was a few years ago, where I was in bed and a storm rolled in. Instead of feeling excited, I cowered in bed, trembling like crazy and just…cringing. I remember posting about it on LJ as well, and Jillian told me that in the Aboriginal culture, demons or bad spirits can ride on storms.

Tonight was the exact same feeling. I spend twenty minutes burning white sage to cleanse my area (as well as the feather). I have a feeling that Kiesh’ra and kite were both protecting me. I burned the white sage for them both, too.

The feather in its original state.

As usual, I invited them in, and offered them white sage smoke as well, asking for protection, and the creation of boundaries.

Today, it was more to smudge and work with a few crystals. Which was ironic – I am a skeptic when it comes to believing in the power of crystals. Yet, with the knowledge that scientifically, crystals such as clear quartz are used as storage of energy and amplification of those to power say, things like watches, my skepticism diminished slightly. I wouldn’t go so far as to say that I’m absolutely sure crystals work on a spiritual or intangible level, but there is a possibility – after all, a lot of facts now were fantastical conjectures in the past, and only when physical equipment became advanced enough to measure those fantasies that they became ‘facts.’

So…what the hell? I shall pretend. No loss to me, anyway.

I worked with a clear quartz wand and a lapis lazuli (both given by a very dear friend though we don’t speak much), and a citrine piece I bought. Perhaps it was the ‘pretending’ that made them work, but the three crystals worked together to focus my thoughts and intentions into an intensity that was somewhat astounding. Even after the hypnosis session, my whole head throbbed a little, when it has almost-never done so before.

I was actually able to almost feel my power coming out from my skin, and I ‘pretended’ to see through the illusion of time and space, and followed my lines and waves of power to the farthest reaches of the universe. I got a sense of something similar to the exact meeting line of tectonic plates on earth – that they are destroyed somewhere and recreated somewhere else even as they expand.

I was better able, also, to feel that my point of power is in the present, even though part of my consciousness kind of travelled the waves and took peeks at the probable pasts and probable futures.

Kiesh’ra was quite happy that I found the lapis. I think that was the crystal he wanted. No idea why. I told him not to get any weird ideas as well. First time I’ve seen him smile so widely. Um…something is up. *not so subtle hint to him*

Perhaps I shall start working with these three crystals a lot more from now on. At least as a focus of my thoughts, and amplification of them.

After smudging the room and asking in the six directions, I smudged the clear quartz pendulum and all, and tried working with it. Nada.

Then I tried using two hangers (holding them upside-down by their handles; hangers have copper inside, which is supposedly good for dowsing), but nothing too. Absolutely nothing.

I finally went for my tried and tested method: sitting down and visualizing, asking the six directions to help me. Kiesh’ra came to sit beside me for company as well. =) And I finally got an image that a coordinate line ran through that particular room from south to north (strangely, not north to south).

So I supposed I can work with that.