Various things – Blue, sending the Hellspawn away, etc.

In truth, I don’t know how to start this post. And I don’t quite know how to write this post since everything seems to be jumbled up quite badly.

I shall try my best to make some coherence from it.

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I smudged the room and created my boundaries with a cedar and white sage smudge (I think I much prefer pure white sage), thanked Father Sky and Mother Earth for coming in to take care of me, smudged myself, and sat down with my drumming music. My intention today was to speak with Blue, my soul fragment who is a large part of my pain.

She was at first cocky and all that. But I simply spoke with her very honestly, saying that I’m sorry I never took care of her, and I can’t remember what else. But I did tell her that I’d appreciate if she would come back to me for integration, so that I can try my best to take care of her and acknowledge her, and hopefully she’s able to take care of me as well.

After some time, her fake cockiness vanished, and she nodded and got up to walk towards me. As she did, the countenance of her face was somehow taken over by a demon’s visage. Now, I’m not terribly scared of demons, because not all of them are bad (one of my soulbonds is a demon in human visage and he has told me and showed me about it, but I still love him as my brother). But this one didn’t feel good, so I used conscious intent to rip it from Blue and send it back to its orginator, whom, for some not so strange reason, was the Hellspawn.

I asked Kiesh’ra to take care of it, and to please send the Hellspawn on its way, that I’d give him something valuable as thanks once I’m done with my stuff. The latter wasn’t happy about it (not hostile at all, but not happy), but I created my boundaries more firmly and asked Father Sky and Mother Earth to help me with my boundaries, and to take care of me, their child. I turned my attention back to Blue, and still saw a fuzzy demonic visage on her face. She told me sternly that I needed to focus, so I intent-ed that I’d have clear vision to see things in their true forms, and that demonic visage vanished, leaving a much younger Blue/me. It was as if pain had aged her by a lot, and by acknowledging her and in a sense taking away her pain, she became more innocent, younger.

She stepped into me, and I consciously integrated her. I felt Kiesh’ra’s hands all over me, helping me firm and pat down the energy tendrils I was giving out, helping me with the integration. Once that was done, I smiled at him and got up to hug him as a thank you. I’m pretty short, even as a spiritual form, and the top of my head come only to his stomach area. I pressed my left cheek against his stomach, and was horrified to feel my cheek getting “engulfed” by that area. I thought great, another demon or thing I don’t want around me, and pulled back only to realize that it was a wound – a sword slash starting from his left rib and ending near his navel.

I glanced up at him and then realized he’d gotten into a swordfight with the Hellspawn and just went oh shit, and batted his hand away and told him I’m going to heal him so he better let me. So I placed both my palms over the wound, consciously intent healing, and sent lights representing various sorts of healing into the wound – pink for gentle knitting of the wound; red for vitality; a light blue for the equivalent of moisture/water his body needed.

After a few minutes, the wound closed up with only a faint scar (okay, my healing ability seems to have activated somewhat, though it’s strange my first act should be in the spiritual realm where I have little to no experience at all), and I hugged him properly this time. I felt my cheek against warm, solid flesh, but also felt fuzzy energy brushing against mine. It was cute.

I told Kiesh’ra I had to settle stuff with the Hellspawn now – it was standing right outside my boundaries. Some sort of small shack appeared – seems to be mine – and though I actually thought of giving some of my energy as thanks to the Hellspawn, Kiesh’ra stopped me, and led me to this small cabinet in the shack. He opened it and inside were some rice cakes. I don’t know why something seemingly-simple is important, but the rice cakes felt very vital. He passed them to me and I took them to my boundaries and stood before the Hellspawn, telling him thank you for his help, but I think I didn’t need his help any longer. I passed the rice cakes to him, but he still stood there.

I walked away again, and suddenly found myself in the armor both he and the Hellspawn had gifted me. Sensing that its use was no longer needed, I started stripping myself of it respectfully, calling forth my energy and Kiesh’ra’s energy to recall them. I handed Kiesh’ra back his golden sash, and asked him to take care of it for me until he wanted to give it to me again and when I was ready. I recalled the golden energy outlining the face opening of my helm, and making sure not one trace of any others’ energies clung to them, returned them to my protector. Then, as I took off each piece of my armor, I recalled my energy and placed them into a small wooden bowl. Each item I took off, the brahminy kite gripped and returned to the Hellspawn. I think Kiesh’ra somehow took care of the black sword the Hellspawn had given me too – I don’t remember what I did with it.

I made sure the kite’s own energies were clear.

I was naked, but in the spiritual world, you come with yourself and you go with yourself. There’s nothing to be ashamed about nakedness of. I might acquire things along the way, but in the end, I am still me, and naked.

Then I hugged the kite and she groomed my hair for a bit and gave me a small bite on my neck and told me never to invite these sort of “people” in again, then she glanced up at Kiesh’ra and made bird-talk which I think was her scolding him and saying he should do his job…I wrapped her in protective energies so that she and her brood would be safe.

After that, I knelt on the ground, and held my palms over the mucky energies. I ordered those that weren’t mine to please collate in my palms, and I brought them to the Hellspawn as well, thanking him for any help he’d given me. I told him that these weren’t the kind of muck or darkness I needed; that the darkness I needed was where I can find my own balance and walk the middle path. He seemed unhappy but still not hostile.

I then ordered Kiesh’ra to go to the small bed or something in the shack and to bloody lay down to rest this time or else I’d make him. From the well beside the shack, I drew up a bucket of clear, pure and healing water, and made him drink it and made him lay down. I sat facing away from the shack to do my hypnosis project, but felt a bit dazed and unable to focus. I suddenly felt hands on my temples, and a sudden gentle energy flowing through my mind, and realized it was Kiesh’ra who was helping me. He did that for a bit and went to lay down, and came back to help a bit more when I needed help again.

When I finally finished my hypnosis about 30 minutes later, I glanced back and saw the Kiesh’ra had fallen asleep. I walked over to stand before him, and asked for clear vision again. Somehow, I still alternated between seeing him with a falcon-head, and with a falcon-helm. I let him sleep, and came back to my body.

Forgot to mention I saw another soul fragment hanging around – anger. I said hello and acknowledged her, and will speak with her soon. I hope nothing goes wrong from that.

(Boundaries of protection) This is my space

Recently, my mom, sis and brother told me that they’ve been hearing the bell on our front wooden gate ring almost every night at around late 9pm to early 10pm+.

My house is what is termed as a corner unit. So, from our living room, we have to pass by our balcony before reaching our door. Beyond that is technically government property, but my dad had fixed a wooden gate about eight feet from our main gate. On the wooden gate, he’d nailed a bell in the shape of a cockerel so that people who don’t dare open the wooden gate to press our doorbell can ring that bell instead.

I was quite puzzled. Apparently, the cockerel-bell ringing has been going on for a long time. I’m usually home quite late so I’ve never heard it. But all three of them have attested to hearing it clearly every night.

Tonight is the second time I’ve heard it. I was busy so I didn’t head out immediately to check. But five minutes after that, when I did, there was no one there.

I went to talk with my neighbors’ helper. Their door is located about two feet (60cm) away from our wooden gate, so if the cockerel bell rings, they’d definitely be able to hear it, especially with their proximity. If I can hear it from all the way at the back of my house, sometimes even with my door closed, then they must be deaf if they can’t hear (it’s deafeningly-loud when I accidentally ring it), which they’re not.

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Today, I washed my hands with soap and visualized all the filth being washed away. Then, I lit my white sage smudge stick, and starting from my wooden gate, smudged all the open spaces which are considered entrances/exits for whatever purposes. I did that for my whole house, and ended back at my wooden gate. There, I smudged the cockerel-bell, and created with the smudge stick’s smoke what I consider the equivalent of “The Girdle of Melian,” if anyone has read the Silmarillion by J.R.R. Tolkien before. I used the smoke to create a maze of sorts, so that anyone or anything who has no express permission from me to enter will be trapped and confuddled by the girdle.

Then, I placed small pieces of crystals which already have a bindrune written on them in some pots of my corridor. These can and will be activated when/if I need them to be. I also placed some throughout the house. Over my gate, I used the smoke of the smudge stick to draw the bindrune as well.

Did some drumming to reaffirm the boundaries.

Now, let’s see what happens.

Boundaries of Protection | Elements and Thurisaz

This is Thurisaz, the Futhark rune of protection and defense. It resembles a thorn, presenting both a protection/defense to outside attackers, but also an obstacle to the person who cannot surmount his own willful feelings.

This is a pentacle, symbolizing the unity of the five elements which are representative of any sentient being’s characteristics.

Because I have recently turned to working with runes as well as the elements, and find them the most useful for me for someone who does not pray to any deity or pantheon of deities, I shall be talking about creating boundaries of protection using Thurisaz, and the pentacle.

I feel that before working with any system of energies, or system of techniques, it is important to first dedicate oneself to the energies of that system first before anything else. ‘Dedication’ does not mean a ‘contract’ formed, such as when a wiccan/witch enters a coven; such as when a druid enters into one particular guild or system, and so on. ‘Dedication’ to me means acknowledging the existence of the energies; respecting their ability to create or destroy, to heal or hurt; and to ask their permission to integrate oneself with them, and them into oneself, so that with the knowledge that one has permission of the energies to use them within boundaries (and sometimes with consequences), a person can wield the energies to some extent in affecting effects.

It is an important thing to first ask permission of the elements in dedication, in explaining what you intend to do, how you intend to use them, and so on. Because the elemental energies are not simply the ‘objects’ we find in everyday experiences, but are also corresponding to the body and spirit:
Earth – solidity, grounding, being firm and practical;
Fire – passion, drive, anger, rage, hate;
Wind – breath (life), freedom, fluidity, flighty, indecisions
Water – flow, strength, turbulence, blood
Spirit – potential, chances, possibilities, unity.

For each element, there will be a balance – creative, and destructive. For example, the earth provides fertility for sustenance, but in earthquakes and landslides, provide swift burial grounds to the victims; fire can be used to cook, to sterilize, or to light the darkness, but it can also burn out of control, burn from within; wind provides air to breathe, for the soul to fly on, giving a cooling effect to a hot day, but tornadoes, gales, typhoons and all these show the flighty side of wind, as it creates or destroys according to its whims; water is essential to anything to grow, and it is also the blood that flows through any body, but think about tsunamis, about undercurrents, and remember the hidden power of water.

One should never forget the dual nature of everything, even of the elements, and in dedicating oneself to the elements, you should not forget to truly accept the consequences of a wrong use with a wrong intention.

With that said, to create a boundary of protection, first imagine a glowing Thurisaz forming right beneath where you stand/sit. See it blazing in a bright color of your choice, whichever feels the best to you. (I use red because I feel an affinity with fire) Depending on how large you want your circle of protection to be, visualize the Thurisaz sign expanding or shrinking until your desired size.

With that one, visualize a pentacle forming on top of Thurisaz, one overlaying on top of the other so that both are still somewhat visible.

Start with the first point of the pentacle. It seems the easiest to think of earth first. So for that point, imagine a visual collection of soil, of the ground, of plants digging their roots deeply in, providing anchorage and a solid ground to build your defense upon. Take all the time you need until you have settled with a suitable imagery for yourself.

Then, fire seems the next easiest choice. On the next point of the pentacle, imagine a small fire burning on some logs. Then, according to what suits you the best, you can feed that small fire until it blazes and provides an impenetrable wall of flames, or allow it to remain as it is until you feel that you really need it. Feed it with your passion, with the burning nature of fire itself.

Wind, the air which feeds fire, will come next. On the first point of the pentacle, imagine an almost-physical image of wind blowing. Visualize a gentle breeze, or a destructive typhoon, swirling around, spinning, providing a tremendous obstacle to anyone who wishes to enter uninvited.

Water, flowing and ever-changing, adaptable, yet turbulent and tumultuous, gentle as a still lake, or raging as a waterfall. Visualize a body of water eddying about on the fourth point of the pentacle, with hidden depths and undercurrents, or being quiet as a soft bubbling brook. Set water as an adaptable element that could change at any time.

For the last point of the pentacle, spirit, intent the inherent potential of anything to happen, the chances and possibilities for you to grab hold and work on. Intent for the possibilities to be in your favor, to work with you, and be prepared to work hard to make those chances happen.

And, if you do not want any entities or anyone to see and be able to gauge the boundaries of protection around yourself, then intent to make the pentacle and Thurisaz ‘invisible,’ with their potential hidden and latent until you call them up in times of need.