Jish, crystals, self-hypnosis

I was finally able to offer corn meal to the winds today, the six directions. Thank you to sixhunter who got me those small little cute teacups. I think the winds were quite pleased with the offering.

As usual, I invited them in, and offered them white sage smoke as well, asking for protection, and the creation of boundaries.

Today, it was more to smudge and work with a few crystals. Which was ironic – I am a skeptic when it comes to believing in the power of crystals. Yet, with the knowledge that scientifically, crystals such as clear quartz are used as storage of energy and amplification of those to power say, things like watches, my skepticism diminished slightly. I wouldn’t go so far as to say that I’m absolutely sure crystals work on a spiritual or intangible level, but there is a possibility – after all, a lot of facts now were fantastical conjectures in the past, and only when physical equipment became advanced enough to measure those fantasies that they became ‘facts.’

So…what the hell? I shall pretend. No loss to me, anyway.

I worked with a clear quartz wand and a lapis lazuli (both given by a very dear friend though we don’t speak much), and a citrine piece I bought. Perhaps it was the ‘pretending’ that made them work, but the three crystals worked together to focus my thoughts and intentions into an intensity that was somewhat astounding. Even after the hypnosis session, my whole head throbbed a little, when it has almost-never done so before.

I was actually able to almost feel my power coming out from my skin, and I ‘pretended’ to see through the illusion of time and space, and followed my lines and waves of power to the farthest reaches of the universe. I got a sense of something similar to the exact meeting line of tectonic plates on earth – that they are destroyed somewhere and recreated somewhere else even as they expand.

I was better able, also, to feel that my point of power is in the present, even though part of my consciousness kind of travelled the waves and took peeks at the probable pasts and probable futures.

Kiesh’ra was quite happy that I found the lapis. I think that was the crystal he wanted. No idea why. I told him not to get any weird ideas as well. First time I’ve seen him smile so widely. Um…something is up. *not so subtle hint to him*

Perhaps I shall start working with these three crystals a lot more from now on. At least as a focus of my thoughts, and amplification of them.

(Seth) Coordinate points

I decided to try looking for any coordinate points in the spare room I use for meditation today.

After smudging the room and asking in the six directions, I smudged the clear quartz pendulum and all, and tried working with it. Nada.

Then I tried using two hangers (holding them upside-down by their handles; hangers have copper inside, which is supposedly good for dowsing), but nothing too. Absolutely nothing.

I finally went for my tried and tested method: sitting down and visualizing, asking the six directions to help me. Kiesh’ra came to sit beside me for company as well. =) And I finally got an image that a coordinate line ran through that particular room from south to north (strangely, not north to south).

So I supposed I can work with that.

Expansion of consciousness and perceptions

I had an interesting experience yesterday night which on hindsight, seemed to be regarding the expansion of my consciousness and perceptions. These experiences are infrequent but are definitely not unfamiliar. They’ve been going on for about eight years or so, and while I’d wondered last time what kind of delusional experience I was having, I understand more of what it is now.

What happened last night was that I was at a dimly-lit diner with the guy whom I work for. We usually meet for about three hours or so to work on his stories (I edit for him). Around an hour or so into our work, we took a break and were chatting, when I suddenly felt my mind/brain go fuzzy. As I continued staring at the guy, it was as if the fabric of space around his form was pulled towards me, and everything enlarged as a sort of perspective-alignment; his face seemed to be sucked away, seemed to shrink. Yet, both the space around him and his face also stayed the same dimensions.

It was a very very big struggle to focus my mind enough to work on the editing discussion for the next hour or so. After work, I walked home and felt the dimension I’m in being very insubstantial. My mind wasn’t in my head. It took effort to function in this world.

I passed by a small park on my way home and saw a black cat lounging on the ground. At the first glance of it, I jumped and then stared hard at it for a few minutes. In my head, I was asking myself what a monster like that was doing in our world. Again, on hindsight, it was perhaps the ‘wrong’ question to ask (even though it was perfectly legitimate at that time). I understand that my consciousness had expanded to include other dimensions, and that the cat in other dimensions was a ‘monster.’ Because my mind wasn’t focused on our three-dimensional world anymore, I felt as if the ‘monster’ had intruded into ‘my’ world, when in fact, I’d expanded to be conscious of other dimensions where the cat was in fact also a monster.

I’ve had some other experiences like this one, but dealing with spatial dimensions and stuff.

I wonder how I can use this expansion of consciousness to my advantage…

Various things – Blue, sending the Hellspawn away, etc.

In truth, I don’t know how to start this post. And I don’t quite know how to write this post since everything seems to be jumbled up quite badly.

I shall try my best to make some coherence from it.

—–

I smudged the room and created my boundaries with a cedar and white sage smudge (I think I much prefer pure white sage), thanked Father Sky and Mother Earth for coming in to take care of me, smudged myself, and sat down with my drumming music. My intention today was to speak with Blue, my soul fragment who is a large part of my pain.

She was at first cocky and all that. But I simply spoke with her very honestly, saying that I’m sorry I never took care of her, and I can’t remember what else. But I did tell her that I’d appreciate if she would come back to me for integration, so that I can try my best to take care of her and acknowledge her, and hopefully she’s able to take care of me as well.

After some time, her fake cockiness vanished, and she nodded and got up to walk towards me. As she did, the countenance of her face was somehow taken over by a demon’s visage. Now, I’m not terribly scared of demons, because not all of them are bad (one of my soulbonds is a demon in human visage and he has told me and showed me about it, but I still love him as my brother). But this one didn’t feel good, so I used conscious intent to rip it from Blue and send it back to its orginator, whom, for some not so strange reason, was the Hellspawn.

I asked Kiesh’ra to take care of it, and to please send the Hellspawn on its way, that I’d give him something valuable as thanks once I’m done with my stuff. The latter wasn’t happy about it (not hostile at all, but not happy), but I created my boundaries more firmly and asked Father Sky and Mother Earth to help me with my boundaries, and to take care of me, their child. I turned my attention back to Blue, and still saw a fuzzy demonic visage on her face. She told me sternly that I needed to focus, so I intent-ed that I’d have clear vision to see things in their true forms, and that demonic visage vanished, leaving a much younger Blue/me. It was as if pain had aged her by a lot, and by acknowledging her and in a sense taking away her pain, she became more innocent, younger.

She stepped into me, and I consciously integrated her. I felt Kiesh’ra’s hands all over me, helping me firm and pat down the energy tendrils I was giving out, helping me with the integration. Once that was done, I smiled at him and got up to hug him as a thank you. I’m pretty short, even as a spiritual form, and the top of my head come only to his stomach area. I pressed my left cheek against his stomach, and was horrified to feel my cheek getting “engulfed” by that area. I thought great, another demon or thing I don’t want around me, and pulled back only to realize that it was a wound – a sword slash starting from his left rib and ending near his navel.

I glanced up at him and then realized he’d gotten into a swordfight with the Hellspawn and just went oh shit, and batted his hand away and told him I’m going to heal him so he better let me. So I placed both my palms over the wound, consciously intent healing, and sent lights representing various sorts of healing into the wound – pink for gentle knitting of the wound; red for vitality; a light blue for the equivalent of moisture/water his body needed.

After a few minutes, the wound closed up with only a faint scar (okay, my healing ability seems to have activated somewhat, though it’s strange my first act should be in the spiritual realm where I have little to no experience at all), and I hugged him properly this time. I felt my cheek against warm, solid flesh, but also felt fuzzy energy brushing against mine. It was cute.

I told Kiesh’ra I had to settle stuff with the Hellspawn now – it was standing right outside my boundaries. Some sort of small shack appeared – seems to be mine – and though I actually thought of giving some of my energy as thanks to the Hellspawn, Kiesh’ra stopped me, and led me to this small cabinet in the shack. He opened it and inside were some rice cakes. I don’t know why something seemingly-simple is important, but the rice cakes felt very vital. He passed them to me and I took them to my boundaries and stood before the Hellspawn, telling him thank you for his help, but I think I didn’t need his help any longer. I passed the rice cakes to him, but he still stood there.

I walked away again, and suddenly found myself in the armor both he and the Hellspawn had gifted me. Sensing that its use was no longer needed, I started stripping myself of it respectfully, calling forth my energy and Kiesh’ra’s energy to recall them. I handed Kiesh’ra back his golden sash, and asked him to take care of it for me until he wanted to give it to me again and when I was ready. I recalled the golden energy outlining the face opening of my helm, and making sure not one trace of any others’ energies clung to them, returned them to my protector. Then, as I took off each piece of my armor, I recalled my energy and placed them into a small wooden bowl. Each item I took off, the brahminy kite gripped and returned to the Hellspawn. I think Kiesh’ra somehow took care of the black sword the Hellspawn had given me too – I don’t remember what I did with it.

I made sure the kite’s own energies were clear.

I was naked, but in the spiritual world, you come with yourself and you go with yourself. There’s nothing to be ashamed about nakedness of. I might acquire things along the way, but in the end, I am still me, and naked.

Then I hugged the kite and she groomed my hair for a bit and gave me a small bite on my neck and told me never to invite these sort of “people” in again, then she glanced up at Kiesh’ra and made bird-talk which I think was her scolding him and saying he should do his job…I wrapped her in protective energies so that she and her brood would be safe.

After that, I knelt on the ground, and held my palms over the mucky energies. I ordered those that weren’t mine to please collate in my palms, and I brought them to the Hellspawn as well, thanking him for any help he’d given me. I told him that these weren’t the kind of muck or darkness I needed; that the darkness I needed was where I can find my own balance and walk the middle path. He seemed unhappy but still not hostile.

I then ordered Kiesh’ra to go to the small bed or something in the shack and to bloody lay down to rest this time or else I’d make him. From the well beside the shack, I drew up a bucket of clear, pure and healing water, and made him drink it and made him lay down. I sat facing away from the shack to do my hypnosis project, but felt a bit dazed and unable to focus. I suddenly felt hands on my temples, and a sudden gentle energy flowing through my mind, and realized it was Kiesh’ra who was helping me. He did that for a bit and went to lay down, and came back to help a bit more when I needed help again.

When I finally finished my hypnosis about 30 minutes later, I glanced back and saw the Kiesh’ra had fallen asleep. I walked over to stand before him, and asked for clear vision again. Somehow, I still alternated between seeing him with a falcon-head, and with a falcon-helm. I let him sleep, and came back to my body.

Forgot to mention I saw another soul fragment hanging around – anger. I said hello and acknowledged her, and will speak with her soon. I hope nothing goes wrong from that.