(Note: Not a post on shamanism or shamanistic practices, but a needed one still)
After my soul retrieval session with Daniel Darby sometime in March this year, when I heard that his wife Helen would be coming to Singapore, an acquaintance suggested I meet her. And so I did.
I attended her “Bowl of Light” healing ceremony yesterday, and have to say that it was something that was out of my comfort zone (not in a bad way though) because active participation by those who were present was required. It’s probably a very Singaporean thing, but we weren’t very willing to speak up and present ourselves as “weak,” so to speak. I had to wait for quite a number of people to pick their stones and speak what they were letting go of before I worked up the guts to go.
I think I requested All That Is (ATI) to help me release my depression which stem from generations and half my life of abuse, and to let go of perceived fear (which is false evidence). We were supposed to throw the stone into a body of water or bury it in the earth as soon as possible, within three days if not ASAP.
After that, I walked with an acquaintance who had also taken the soul retrieval workshop the other time, and sat with her at the Singapore River while she spoke to that beach-stone from the ceremony, and also the Apache Tear crystal from Daniel’s potlatch session. She returned the stones to nature, and we walked back.
It felt apt that I do it this night as well.
I was debating last night which workshop of Helen’s I should attend. At first, I signed up for the Healing with Hawaiian Aumakua workshop and paid the deposit for it, but I changed my mind because of various reasons: I was extremely short of cash in physical reality at the moment, and I’ve also been working with Egyptian Vulture and my other soul parts in an attempt at reintegration. So I thought that I should focus and stabilize on these before adding on to my shamanistic practices.
The Manifesting Abundance workshop was fun. Insightful AND fun. It certainly wasn’t what I expected, even though I think this is the first manifesting abundance session I’ve been to in my life. But perhaps my preconception of it came from the two or so years I’ve been trying to manifest money in my life using Seth’s teachings and You Create Your Own Reality (YCYOR).
I learned some new things tonight during the workshop, which was part spiritual, part psychosomatic, which is probably what beliefs are anyway, since what we see physically in our lives are actually the end result (and not the cause of) our beliefs. Or maybe I should say that I already knew these things from my own YCYOR and nightly self-hypnosis meditation, but Helen provided further insight, which was extremely valuable.
I’ve always known that I valued myself little. It’s all the abuse growing up, and this and that. On the surface, I may hide it quite a bit; deep down, as a core belief, it remains there. I’ve known that this is one of the beliefs which has held me back from manifesting my desires powerfully, but it wasn’t until tonight when I was shown just how much this belief was inherent in my life and how much I actually believed it.
Another psychosomatic block I’d been encountering for years, ever since I’ve been trying to manifest money, was that of a comfort-zone-shift or paradigm-shift of sorts. I’ve been trying to manifest a LARGE sum of money, but somehow have always felt uncomfortable with it. Tonight’s workshop revealed an insight that we have been habitualized into (believing) a set comfort zone of a certain sum of money we want or think we deserve. And the more we plunge in suddenly and challenge those boundaries without preamble, the more resistance that habitualized boundary would give back.
Also, if we treat the manifestation as one needed and vital to physical survival, that places additional stress and resistance in our minds, and we work against our desires, sadly so.
In the end, we blessed our money and all by doing a small ritual.
I’m not going to speak too much about the workshop since it is Helen’s work and effort, but I have to say that for myself who instinctively trusts in the whole YCYOR concept but has experienced blockages and resistance because of my own beliefs working against me, this workshop was a great reminder. And it was really FUN. =D
Anyway, barely two minutes after Helen “officially” closed the workshop session, I started getting this sharp pain in my chest area. It was sharp and annoying (not very high in intensity but the pain made it hard to breathe without hurting), disappearing only to sometimes come back as a throbbing ache, before repeating the cycle.
Helen thinks it’s because something was changing/had changed in me during the workshop, and the pain was a physical manifestation of it. It certainly sounds plausible.